It is amazing to me how we can feel all warm and fuzzy when everything is going so smoothly. Hit a little bump, like the time going longer than it has "averaged" and I begin feeling all down in the dumps. Yes, even though God is proving Himself over and over and over and over to me, time and time again.
Today is 8 months and 2 days since we were submitted into our region. Maybe it is a false sense of pride??? I was so glad to tell everyone that I thought it was going to be a quick process- in fact- I would not have been surprised had we received a call in Aug. I feel like the woman who has had false labor so many times the doctors repeated the pregnancy test to make sure she was still pregnant. And this, too, I give to you, God.
God has provided in ways immeasurable. Not in the spectacular, here it all is, no need to trust, or wait, or spend time in your quiet place with me, but in the day to day things- the little here and there- the bonus check, or the buy back, coming just in time to pay the bill since my work hours aren't where they were at the end of the year. Someone remembering our paper for the Both Hands project and sending a donation that paid for the paperwork we needed done. Over and over again, God proving Himself Faithful.... Just... Perfect.
It is so completely and utterly humbling. I hang my head in shame for a nanosecond for my lack of faith, and then IN STEPS FAITH and I feel like doing something that would be a combination of falling to my face in Worship and jumping around in abject adoration.
Just this morning, I was feeling like Proverbs 13:12NIV part A summed up my feelings... "Hope deferred makes the heart sick..." Then I, out of rote talking to myself, reminded myself that I am glad that God is in control. His perfect timing, not mine- and it WILL be perfect. I am soo glad He is in charge. I just wish His plan was quicker. What do we need to learn from this.... etc. And as I dropped Eli's dinner off at Melanie's house, I mentioned that part of the scripture and she looked up at me with a sudden gleam in her eye and said they were studying that very scripture. She completed the verse, "but longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
In Steps Faith, reminding us that God is in control and the Hopes and Longings and dreams He has put in our hearts will grow and flourish and become in us a tree of Life!! Come sweet Jesus, come!! May you touch our hearts and cultivate that tree of life you are growing in our souls. We pray it will be soon that you will complete our family, introducing us to the child you planned to be ours before the foundation of time.
Incredible God, pulling back thoughts, actions, fears, doubts, we place them all in your hands as we stand back in your Grace and watch what you are about to do in our lives. May you receive the glory for what you are about to do!!
Hang in there friend... :) I know it's tough - but we KNOW who knows the EXACT timing! Praying for you always!!!!
ReplyDelete